Intuition: More than meets the eye – The Kindness Gene

There may be more to that gut level feeling we have about certain people.  Perhaps there is more to intuition, or that ‘sixth sense’ than people get credit for.  An Oregon University study shows that people can actually recognize in others a gene trait linked with being kind and caring.

What does this mean for you?  Among other things, be willing to trust your gut if you feel that someone might be shady and untrustworthy…you are likely to be right.

People with a certain gene trait are known to be more kind and caring than people without it, and strangers can quickly tell the difference, according to US research published on Monday.

The variation is linked to the body’s receptor gene of oxytocin, sometimes called the “love hormone” because it often manifests during sex and promotes bonding, empathy and other social behaviors.

Scientists at Oregon State University devised an experiment in which 23 couples, whose genotypes were known to researchers but not observers, were filmed.

One member of the couple was asked to tell the other about a time of suffering in his or her life. Observers were asked to watch the listener for 20 seconds, with the sound turned off.

In most cases, the observers were able to tell which of the listeners had the “kindness gene” and which ones did not, said the findings in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences edition of November 14.

“Our findings suggest even slight genetic variation may have tangible impact on people’s behavior, and that these behavioral differences are quickly noticed by others,” said lead author Aleksandr Kogan, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto.

Nine out 10 people who were judged by the neutral observers to be “least trusted” carried the A version of the gene, while six out 10 deemed “most prosocial” had the GG genotype.

People in the study were tested beforehand and found to have GG, AG or AA genotypes for the rs53576 DNA sequence of the oxytocin receptor (OXTR) gene.

People who have two copies of the G allele are generally judged as more empathetic, trusting and loving.

Those with AG or AA genotypes tend to say they feel less positive overall, and feel less parental sensitivity. Previous research has shown they also may have a higher risk of autism.

“The oxytocin receptor gene in particular has become of great interest because a select number of studies suggest that it is related to how prosocial people view themselves,” Kogan said.

“Our study asked the question of whether these differences manifest themselves in behaviors that are quickly detectable by strangers, and it turns out they did.”

However, no gene trait can entirely predict a person’s behavior, and more research is needed to find out how the variant affects the underlying biology of behavior.

“These are people who just may need to be coaxed out of their shells a little,” said senior author Sarina Rodrigues Saturn, an assistant professor of psychology at Oregon State University whose previous research established the genetic link to empathetic behavior.

“It may not be that we need to fix people who exhibit less social traits, but that we recognize they are overcoming a genetically influenced trait and that they may need more understanding and encouragement.”

via Strangers can spot ‘kindness’ gene: study – Yahoo! News.

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Mind Over Potato Chip

Logic tells us to make comparisons to get the best deal in goods and services – but it doesn’t always work that way. That’s because of the weird way our brains make mountains out of molehills. 

The Potato Chip Study

Consider a study by Morewedge et al. (2010). Participants were asked to predict how much they would enjoy a potato chip. Half the participants were in a room that also happened to contain other superior snacks like a luxurious chocolate bar; others were in a room with inferior snacks, like sardines and spam. 

People in the room with the superior snacks thought they’d enjoy the chip less than those in the room with the inferior snack. They were wrong. In fact they liked the snacks exactly the same, no matter the surrounding snacks. 

Here’s the moral: when you enjoy whatever you choose, you’re mostly not comparing it with other options: you enjoy it for what it is. Comparisons mess with your mind. 

Agonizing Over Small Differences

 When we go to buy a car, a house or a snack we tend to make a big deal out of the differences between similar products. We notice that this car is faster, or this house is slightly bigger, or this chocolate bar is bigger. In reality the differences in our enjoyment are much smaller than we imagine; maybe no more than a hill of beans.

If you’re the kind of person that really sweats over their comparison shopping, then take note. This research suggests: don’t bother, let it go, it won’t matter. Sure, get the lowest price for the same goods or service, but don’t go crazy choosing between models or features, it really won’t make that much difference.

Thanks to PsyBlog for the article.

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The Art of Persuasion – in a Second

The first rule of changing minds is to keep your message short, sharp, and simple. People tend to respond less well to long convoluted arguments, according to Kevin Dutton, Ph.D., author of Split-Second Persuasion: The Ancient Art & New Science of Changing Minds. Dutton goes into detail in his book, and uses the acronym SPICE to explain the keys of the persuasive message. Here they are:

Simplicity: Keep your message short, sharp, and simple to convince people of its truth.

Perceived Self-Interest: Con men agree it’s the key to getting us to do something we didn’t think we wanted to. Focus on the benefits of the other person, rather than emphasizing your own wants and wishes and emotional history. For example, not- I’ll be sad if you don’t, instead – You’ll be happy if you do.

Incongruity: Surprise people — tell them your product is 400 cents rather than four dollars and they’re far more likely to buy it.

Confidence: The more confident you are, the more we believe you’re right, even when we know your facts are wrong. Have you seen a sales person look at you and outright deny the product is missing a feature when it’s clearly missing?  It’s hard to argue with confidence.

Empathy:  Look people in the eye, nod when they nod, tell them you’re from the same small town they are.  Empathy is about building trust, as we trust people like ourselves.

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Using Existing Mind Techniques to Stimulate Innovation

Your brain already knows several techniques of logic and analysis.  What if you used an existing technique to innovate new ideas?  For example, using justification -  “the mental skill of tracing causes to understand a situation”,  when you’re stuck in a rut?  Read more from this great post on the MindHack blog:

http://mindhacks.com/2011/10/12/games-of-invention/

For more about the power of your brain to shift your life or build your influence, keep reading http://metashifts.com/blog/.

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The Commitment Principle

Steve Pavlina had an interesting post recently about Commitment, and what it really means.  http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2011/10/what-is-commitment/

This goes well with my video on the Commitment Principle.  If you haven’t seen it yet, go to this post.

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Laughter IS the Best Medicine

Want to shift your mood or improve your heart health?  Laugh! Thanks to Brian David Phillips for pointing out this article about new research that shows laughter is good medicne, after all.

http://briandavidphillips.net/2011/10/25/go-ahead-and-laugh-its-good-for-you/

Follow me at http://metashifts.com/blog/ to learn more about changing your future, growing in influence, and finding power through persuasion.

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Getting People to go OUT OF THEIR WAY to do what you want them to…

My latest video talks about the Commitment & Consistency Principle, one of the 6 most powerful laws of influence.  Check it out and let me know what you think!

Commitment & Consistency Principle

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Photographs of Loved Ones Can Be Effective Painkillers

Photographs of Loved Ones Can Be Effective Painkillers

It’s amazing how something as simple as a photograph or holding a loved one’s hand can reduce, block or even eliminate pain. Hypnosis works much in the same way…by using the power of one’s mind, you can literally change the physical state of your body.

Ferris Jabr, writing for Scientific America, elaborates:

A Psychological Science study in 2009 first showed the effect. Psychologist Sarah Master of the University California, Los Angeles, and her colleagues studied 25 women and their boyfriends of more than six months. The researchers subjected the women to different degrees of thermal stimulation-a sharp, prickling sensation-as they either held their boyfriend’s hand while he sat behind a curtain, held the hand of a male stranger behind a curtain, viewed a photograph of their boyfriend or viewed a photograph of a male stranger. Holding their partner’s hand or viewing his photo decreased the women’s pain significantly more than touching or viewing a stranger-and the photo was just as effective as the physical contact.

Read more here:
Photographs of Loved Ones Can Be Effective Painkillers.

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How to create a virtually OBSESSIVE Feeling of Obligation in someone, even if they CAN’T STAND you!

How to create a virtually OBSESSIVE Feeling of Obligation in someone, even if they CAN’T STAND you!

What would it be like if you could instill an automatic feeling of obligation in the people you deal with on a daily basis? How many more sales do you think you would close if the people you sold to actually felt guilty if they didn’t buy from you? How much easier would it be to get your spouse or kids to complete a chore around the house if they felt they ‘owed’ it to you?

The amazing thing is that we actually have a hard-wired response in our brain that gives us a feeling of indebtedness to another person when they do one very simple thing…give us something.

Check out my PowerPersuasion Boot Camp to learn how to become a master of influence and persuasion: http://metashifts.com/powerpersuasion

It doesn’t even necessarily have to be something of value! The very act of giving somebody a gift will trigger that hard-wired response in our brains that says that we NEED to return the favor. Think about the last time somebody gave you an unexpected gift. You most likely felt a strong urge to give a gift back. It might not be right away, but that feeling will stay with you, oftentimes for years later, until you return the favor. I remember a long time ago (about 13 years ago), a family sent me a box of Chocolates when I moved away to another country. I was so thankful and planned to send a card of appreciation to them. But as life happens, things get in the way, and I lost their contact information. TO THIS DAY, everytime I think about them, I remember the box of chocolates and want to do something really nice for them in return.

Dr. Robert Cialdini, author of the book “Influence – The Psychology of Persuasion” calls this automatic compulsion to return the favor “The Law of Reciprocity.” This law is cross cultural…it doesn’t matter if you are giving something to an American, or to a Swahili tribal member. When you give somebody something, our automatic trigger kicks in and we get that sense of obligation.

The Hare Krishnas became famous and raised a ton of money back in the 70′s by taking advantage of this simple principle. They would stand in the airports, and give people an individual flower. After the person took the flower, they would then ask for a donation. Their donations skyrocketed when they began this practice. The funny thing is that people didn’t even WANT the flowers to begin with. Many people don’t even LIKE the Hare Krishnas!! Every 30 minutes or so, one of the members would begin making rounds to all of the trashcans in the airport, and collect the flowers that were thrown away so that they could re-give them away! People would still donate, regardless of whether they kept the flower or not, and regardless of their personal feelings towards them.

In many Asian cultures, prior to making a big purchase or going in for a negotiation, it is a common practice for them to ‘wine & dine’ you first. It is very difficult to take an opposing position to someone after they were so nice to you earlier! Even on smaller purchases, they might take you out for a drink first “just to get to know each other.”

Check out my PowerPersuasion Boot Camp to learn how to become a master of influence and persuasion: http://metashifts.com/powerpersuasion

Dennis Regan of Cornell University did an interesting study of this phenomenon when he setup two people in a waiting room (under the guise of something completely unrelated). One person would get up to leave and state he was going to get something to drink. When the person came back, they brought an extra soda for the other person. Later on, the person who bought the soda would ask the other if they would purchase some raffle tickets for his daughter’s school fundraiser. Regan found that they were significantly more likely to purchase raffle tickets (and for considerably more money than the price of the soda) than the control group who did not receive a soda.

Many people confuse this concept with Karma, but there is a difference. With Karma, what goes around comes around. If you give somebody a gift, then somewhere, sometime, it will be returned to you. The difference is about ‘who’ will return the favor. The Law of Reciprocity is specifically about getting a specific person to return the favor. In BNI (Business Networking International), a business networking group I am a part of, they have a concept called “Givers Gain.” This too is similar in that the more business referrals you give, the more referrals you will begin receiving, although it might not be from the specific person who gave you the referral. You can apply the Law of Reciprocity in BNI by giving a good referral to someone. Especially someone that you know is great at giving other people referrals. If you don’t have a referral to give, take them to lunch on your dime. Or do something special for them so they will want to return the favor.

You see this in the business world all of the time. In fact, this principle is being used on YOU all of the time. Think about the last time you went to Costco and tasted the samples they hand out. I’m willing to bet that many of you feel at least a twinge of guilt when you walk away without buying something. In fact, I remember the first few times I saw samples, I would actually take the box of whatever they were selling (or at least study it for a while), and then put it back later. Of course I no longer do that, Which brings me to the last point…

There is a diminishing return on the Law of Reciprocity. It must be used sparingly. The first few Costco samples gave me a sense of guilt when I didn’t buy the product, but now I freely take and think nothing of buying the actual product. The same thing with the Hare Krishnas (when was the last time you’ve seen them at the airport). If you always buy a coffee for a friend, then the effect will eventually wear off.

WANT MORE??

Imagine what it would be like if you could MASTER this principle in your life, along with dozens of other principles that are just as powerful? How would your life be different?

Check out my PowerPersuasion Boot Camp to learn how to become a master of influence and persuasion: http://metashifts.com/powerpersuasion

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Can Charlie Sheen Persuade the Public to Forgive Him?

Can Charlie Sheen Persuade the Public to Forgive Him?

Charlie Sheen is in some hot water with his latest shenanigans ultimately causing the entire production of CBS’ Two and a Half Men to be cancelled. His fellow actors, crew members, and his entire worldwide audience are in a world of mad at Charlie Sheen. But will they forgive? History has shown us time and time again that the public can be very forgiving. We did it for Bill Clinton. We did it for Michael Vick. Mel Gibson. Chris Brown. Kanye West. And of course, eventually, we will forgive Charlie Sheen. He can however, communicate it in a way that will allow us to forgive faster so he can go on to creating new side-splitting comedies for us all to enjoy. That’s right…there is a science to persuading us to forgive others.
Learn the science of persuading others in the live PowerPersuasion™ Weekend Boot Camp

Psyblog put out an excellent article on the science of apologies, below:

How Powerful is an Apology?

by Jeremy Dean

We assume saying sorry will help to mend fences, but do we over-estimate the power of apology?

Barely a week goes by without one or other public figure apologizing for a disaster of monumental proportions. There’s an endless parade of politicians, business leaders, celebrities and others appearing on TV and in print, to own up and say sorry for what they’ve done wrong. We’ve come to expect this: just as night follows day, so public apology follows misdemeanor. Sometimes these apologies seem genuine and heartfelt, other times they’re perfunctory and insincere. The penitent hope their red-faced admissions of guilt will bring absolution, but can saying sorry really be enough to restore their credibility?

High expectations

In private life we also have very high expectations of the power of saying sorry. Most of us were brought up in a culture of apology: children must say sorry when they do something wrong and grown-ups must apologize if they bump into each other in the street. Just how high these expectations are is demonstrated by Dutch psychologist David De Cremer and colleagues in a new study published in Psychological Science (De Cremer et al., 2010). They had a hunch that receiving an apology isn’t as powerfully healing as we’d like to imagine. In their study participants played a trust game. Each was given €10 and paired up with a partner, who was actually in on the experiment. Participants were told if they gave all the cash to their partner, it would be tripled, then their partner would decide how much of the €30 to share with them. In fact the experimental insider only gave back €5, so the participants felt cheated. This setup meant the experimenters could test the effects of an apology. However, only half the participants received an actual apology while the rest just imagined receiving one. Participants then rated either the imagined apology or actual apology on a scale of 1 to 7 on the basis of how “reconciling” and “valuable” it was. Participants who merely imagined the apology thought it would be an average of 5.3. But those who actually received the apology only gave it a 3.5. This confirmed the experimenters’ suspicions that people consistently over-estimated the value of an apology. When their cheating partner actually said sorry, it was never as good as they would have imagined.

Sorry is just the start

This finding mirrors our experience of public apologies. We believe a wrong must be righted and have high expectations of an apology, but they have a tendency to disappoint. It’s certainly not true to say that apologies are useless. Apologies acknowledge the existence of social rules and the breaking of those rules. If sincere, apologies can help restore the dignity of the victim and the standing of the transgressor. People are much better off to apologize and take responsibility for their actions than try and make excuses or deny they’ve made a mistake. Psychological research backs up the everyday intuition that excuses and denials just irritate others. While apologies serve a useful function as a first step, we easily over-estimate the work they can do in repairing a relationship. That is why it is so irritating when public figures apologize, and then act like the matter is finished. It’s worse when we can clearly see that someone has been forced into apologizing and that the apology itself is insincere. We often detect this kind of attempted deception and discount the apology.

Insincere apologies

In a strange twist, though, people are less able to detect insincerity when apologies are directed at them. According to a series of studies conducted by Risen and Gilovich (2007), observers are harsher on an insincere apology than the person at whom it is directed. Perhaps this helps explain why people almost always accept an apology aimed directly at them, whether it’s offered sincerely or not. We want to believe it’s sincere, however much we might feel afterwards that it hasn’t really worked. It’s similar to when someone is flattering us. Those watching can tell it’s flattery, but we tend to think it’s genuine because it makes us feel good about ourselves. In contrast, Risen and Gilovich found that observers tend to spot an insincere apology more easily and are likely to reject it. This mirrors the situation when we are watching a public figure apologizing. The slightest whiff of insincerity and we quickly discount the whole thing. Not only do insincere apologies fail to make amends, they can also cause damage by making us feel angry and distrustful towards those who are trying to trick us into forgiving them. Even sincere apologies are just the start of the repair process. Although we expect the words “I’m sorry” to do the trick, they don’t do nearly as much as we expect.

via How Powerful is an Apology? — PsyBlog.

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